trying...

Trying to convince yourself you're not hungry. SUCKS!! Can't wait for snack time. Just an hour to go!

I just wanted to share. hahahaha!!

Putting me first.

I haven't done that in a long time. We've been so busy around here that I've had little time for me. And I have to admit when i do have time that I take for me... I've not chosen to exercise, sleep yes... reading yes. Exercise No. My eating has been out of control. My weight this week hit 202 this week! WTH!! I have yet to be over 200 without being preggers. 5 lbs in 1 week!! Something's not working. Luckily I lost 3lbs by today... gotta just love water weight and I'm working hard to get those other 2lbs that I know are water weight gone by the end of the week.

So why am I telling you all this. Because it has given me the kick in the ass that I've needed this last month. I have to put myself first. I feel like I'm a broken record, I know I am. So instead of telling you JUST how I've fallen off the wagon I'll tell you what I've been trying to do this week. I've been trying to get my eating under control. Counting calories, getting the munchies OUT of my daily routine. I failed miserably on Wed... and then today i just timed myself out. after breakfast figured out when lunch would be and wrote down what time I MUST eat a snack so that i wouldn't forget. And then when I started wandering the kitchen looking for something... anything. I stopped and saw that it wasn't time for a snack and went back to what I was doing. WHOHOOOO!!! I did that after lunch too. WHOHOOO!!!

I know that is 1 of my biggest obstacles right now. Hunger. feeling hungry all the time. And I do mean hungry. Which has led to more portion distortion. But I also know if I work really hard in about 2 weeks... I can have it all back under control. So tomorrow will be a repeat of today. :) it HAS to be.

My other issue has been exhaustion. So I'm working on battling that too. I'm only on here and not in bed yet because well... I really need to get my heart rate lowered before I can crawl into bed. yep, I worked out tonight. Not as long as I would have liked, but holy crap Carb Burn by Crunch just kicked my butt!! So I'm happy with what I did do. I haven't worked out that hard since I tried P90x. Anyhow... Same thing with the eating, I know if I move every day... no matter how long. The exhaustion will get better.

So... there you have it. Me in a nutshell. Sons first BD went off beautifully, house hunting has been interesting and life is well... busy. But it's time for me. I'll try to be back tomorrow. :)

Life is good and busy.

I've been really busy in my life these days. Between planning a 1st bd party, house hunting, paring down our monthly finances, work, eating better/more consciously and growing up the kids , PLUS life's daily excursions... I feel like there's little time for exercise when the kids aren't constantly attacking me for something. And of course when they aren't I'm exhausted.

This has been a great week food wise, but a poor week exercise/moving wise. But for the first time in a long time... I don't feel like I'm beating myself up for failing. I don't feel like a failure. WOW! that just hit me. I know I need to exercise and all. But not feeling like I'm failing myself is a good thing. I feel like I'm in a good place mentally and I'm getting there, 1 step at a time. I know I need to work harder towards exercise and I know that I really do. And I'm not letting myself off the hook, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying I'm feeling good about myself right now despite the lack of exercise. And that hasn't been the case in a LONG time.

Anyhow, it's amazing the things that hit you when you just sit down and share. :) I better go eat breakfast before I start to feel over hungry.

try try and try again.

Every day I have to keep reminding myself it's all about my choices. Everything is my choice, including being overweight, even if I didn't mean to get where I am... i still chose the choices that got me here. Anyhow, it's been hard to keep that in the foreground of my mind instead of the background.

That being said, I did work out 5 days in a row last week and the last few days, I have not. BBOOO!! But I'm ok. I don't feel like I'm beating myself up about it either which is new for me. The truth is, when the hubster is off, it's really hard to get anything done the way I wish for it. But we enjoyed his 4 days off and we did do things that involved moving, so we spent quality time together with no stress. i gained a few pounds, but thankfully by today they have disappeared. Gotta love water weight. :)

Yesterday i had a lot to get done and I did not put exercise first. On the other hand, I DID put my counting calories first and I'm proud to say i stayed under 1300 calories yesterday. That is a HUGE feat for me. I've been in the 1900 range for the last few weeks floundering with my choices. I felt sated and happy all day; except for waiting too long to eat lunch which led to a healthy snack of popcorn. :) but I'm proud of myself for reminding myself that I CAN make good choices. :)

So today I'm making my day about making good choices, doing my stepper while catching up on my shows, taking care of work that I'm way behind on and making good food choices for the day. :)

What are you doing to make good choices today?