just one of them days.... weeks really

Lets face it. I'm in a funk. I am starting to think 2 things. I'm either sick with illness... or depressed. Not sure which. Either way... it's the 4th day in a row I've had a headache... and the 3 day in a row where I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Whatever it is... it doesn't feel like a regular illness. If I could pay the Dr the money we owe him... I'd be there today. Geezus I hate this!!! So... there ya go. That's where I am. Going back to the couch.

Always,
Jules

Sometimes... a pep talk... just has to be shared. :)

So i was reading Becca's blog this morning and new exactly how she was feeling. The whole am I doing all this work now for nothing kinda feeling. Am i just going to gain it all back. Will i just end up failing feelings. I've often wondered exactly as she was. So I left her the comment below as a pep talk... and ya know... i ended up pep talking myself. So... i thought that warranted a share. So... for today's blog. I'm just going to pep talk us all... because sometimes... we all need it. And my own words... actually helped me this morning as yet again... i feel like I've been run over by a truck today.


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In a way... we're all afraid. Afraid we can't really do this journey. That we'll fail just like all those other times we've tried. Because lets face it... we've all tried before and here we are again. Here's the thing though.

DO YOU WANT IT! (Like a coach)
yes
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
DO YOU WANT IT!!
YES!!!

Then go for it! You will do it. Just keep reminding yourself you do want it. Remember that this is NOT a journey of "just until" it's not a journey of... I'm losing weight for my reunion, or my wedding, or to have a baby (1 of the reasons I have to lose weight)... this is a lifestyle change. You are working on your forever. And lets face it. There will be times AFTER you reach your goal where life will throw you curve balls and you'll fall off... why because you are human. And lets admit it... we're not perfect. So when we finally catch the curve balls, we'll jump back on the band wagon (hopefully with only that proverbial few pounds and not 100's) and we'll work on losing it. because eating healthy and exercising is for forever. You'll forever be working on losing, maintaining and being skinny, really forever working on not being fat. So one more time...

DO YOU WANT IT?
yes
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!
DO YOU WANT IT?
YES!!

Then go out there and do it. Do it today and don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. :) LOL You can do this! Don't focus on tomorrow or next year. Focus on today when you get afraid. Today you CAN do it. :):):):)

Always,
Jules

Isn't it amazing

Since I felt so cruddy today... I spent my morning wrapping up my paperwork for Tues & wed work days. Went outside, filled up the kiddie pool and we spent a few hours outside just soaking up the sun. I love these 90+ weather days when there is a breeze, the waters warm, but you feel the coolness when the wind hits you. If only Az didn't get up above 100 in the summer; if only 90 wasn't usually accompanied by a stellar swelters debilitating wave of dry heat... I'd be in heaven here. Oh well. For today, it was certainly relaxing playing with missy in the pool and then chillaxin' on the lounge chair watching and listening to the wind in the trees right behind our house. I did more just watching the trees than I did reading. Missy even joined me. We both have new tan lines despite our SPF 50.

After that time outside away from real life. I feel much more in tune with myself. That being said... My tummy is growling. I'm not sure if I'll exercise or not today as my back still hurts, but my head is better. Life feels good and I don't feel stressed today. It helps that I decided the work week is over with only Tues & Wed to show for my hard work. I'll worry about the lack of money in my paycheck next week :)

Always
Jules

Just put me out of my misery

So 2 days in a row I did my Wii EA Active and Wii Fit. Last night I went to bed and thought my back was all knotted up. Didn't sleep well. Barely slept really. Fighting a headache AND back pain... stinks. I woke up this morning realizing that my back pain can only be from a few things:

1. Tension (there are things I haven't told you all that happened in the last few weeks and coming weeks)
2. I've tweaked it some how

or drum roll please....

3. I worked my back hard enough the last 2 days that my muscles are actually SORE!!!

I didn't think the exercises from those to workouts 2 days in a row could possibly leave my back muscles sore... but I'm leaning towards this being the case. And that worries me, instead of making me happy. When my back hurts I get headaches. Debilitating headaches. My headache is getting bad enough this morning (all ready) that I'm actually getting nauseous. I really wanted to work out today... but I slept probably only 3-4 hrs (not straight sleep either) and am in pain... will I let these issues take me down. I'm not sure. I'm exhausted enough right now... that All I can do is sit here and wish I was asleep. I can't though... so we'll see.

I know when I wake up... I'll be really happy about the pain and exercise. I HATE my back rolls, even more than my belly rolls. So working my muscles just means they will disappear that much faster... but I could do without the pain and headaches.

Also... I haven't stepped on the scale since Saturday. I'm really glad... or maybe I'm just really afraid of it right now. Either way, it's a step in the right direction to stopping the scale obsession.

Always,
Jules

Before proof reading this post... I got up to get more coffee and realized... My calves hurt too... so I'm feeling better about the pain. More awake I guess. As soon as I get rid of this headache. I'll be working my butt off :)