This has been one of those weeks where you feel like every day is really 48 hours long. One of those weeks where, you have a ton to do... but there are so many hours in the day... you feel like, what's the point of getting to it right now. And then you crawl into bed and realize... you really didn't get anything done. Reminds me of days of old when school would be over and there were 3 whole months of nothing ahead and after 2 weeks of nothingness... I was wishing for somethingness. Oh to be young again. To have no concerns or cares in the world.
But would I go back. I look at the sweet face climbing onto her trike to ride around the house (all this tile has got it's advantages) and I think.... NOT! I'll stay right where I am.
That being said... I can't stay RIGHT where I am... or I'll be dead before she's in high school. I can see it. So... instead I'll stay in my time zone and my current decade and work on improving my life beyond recognition. :)
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Self reflection has it's advantages :) To realize, in reality... you like where you are. Is an important lesson we all need to learn. Some how. :) When she makes this cute little monkey face she's doing right now... asking me for her turn on the "puter" I can't resist. But I've got so much to tell you all. So she'll have to wait her turn. There she goes, off on the trike again. :)
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This week food has been a little.. well, an issue. But it's more of a lesson, not an issue. I'm doing WW on my own. No $$ exchanging hands here. So I don't have the benefit of meetings, etc... And that's ok for me. Because really, this is something I HAVE GOT TO DO for me. Something I have to be able to do on my own. I've come to terms with some things this week.
1. Being that it's OK to eat my FP. Even if it's on crappy foods like toaster strudel's (DAMN THAT HUBBY!) or on things like home made guacamole yesterday. It's OK. Because what am I going to do when i get into maintenance mode. I'm gonna want to eat those foods once in a while. So... I've gotta learn to fit them into my eating habits NOW!! Or I'll gain a whole hell of a lotta weight when i get into that maintenance mode. I don't wanna be the biggest loser turned gainer. Really... I've come to terms with the fact that... It's not my eating habits I've gained this last 3 months; it's the eating habits I've KICKED to the curb these last 3 months that are important. NOT the toaster strudel or 2 that i enjoy a few times a week. It's not that. I need to come to terms with what I want to eat, when and how much. I've said this ALOT over and over. So... I'm basically working on trying to not be so hard on myself when it comes to food on a daily basis. It's the OLD habits I need to be hard on myself about. Not the new ones. I've always said my issue isn't so much WHAT i eat, but how much... and even more importantly....
2. It's How much I work out that is an issue. I've always know if I just work out... Even if I don't change my food... my body WILL change. Saying something and knowing something are 2 different things. But the problem here lies in my laziness. I mean come on. Who doesn't like to be lazy. I just tend to do it too much. Sometimes it feels really hard NOT to be when really... come on... I'm a stay at home mom of a 2 year old with a tiny part time job... it's hard work... but really... it's not. It's harder to get me to clean the house. :) But.... this week I'm working on tricking myself. It's the little things we do to trick ourselves into believing something that make something "work" right? So again, I'm tricking myself and I'm giving 2 weeks to see if it'll work.
3. My other issue I need to find a solution for is my bed time/hunger issue I've been battling. Insomnia is some what coming back into my life. I've been going to bed at a decent time... but unable to fall asleep until after midnight. 7am wake up just isn't working either. Ok... I'll change my schedule some to make sure I get my 7-8 hours of sleep. BUT the issue isn't that (ok some days it is- ie. laziness) The issue is that when I eat dinner before 7pm. By the time 11pm rolls around or later... I'm starving. Starving to the point of nauseousness. So what does that lead to... eating. Talking to my mom last night I realized... maybe it's because all dinner consists of for me (for almost a year) is a protein and vegi's. Sometimes... pasta... but only 1 serving and very rarely. Maybe it's the lack of carbs. I don't know. Either way... what do I resort to when I'm hungry in the late hours of the night. Carbs. And there's never enough points in the day to accommodate anything going into my mouth at 11pm.
So... What are my solutions?
They aren't too hard really...
1. Only be hard on myself after the week is over IF I've gone over my daily points, Flex points AND earned activity points for the week. So monday morning I can be hard on myself for the week that just ended. But not before. No more beating myself until the race is over. Can't know if your a "loser" until the end of the weekly race. So... that challenge in my life will be a daily make over. It's hard not to be so mean to myself. :) Instead... I'll just have to be proud of myself for limiting myself at each opportunity (Like at lunch today... only 1 serving of guac and 1 serving of chips, that was hard to limit myself to, but I did it).
2. Tricking myself into exercising. Is it even possible. Well, for 1... i need to do it even if missy is up, even if she wants to watch TV, even if... doesn't matter what the if is... All excuses need to go out the window. Especially when it comes to missy. So my trick is this... every other day... 1 hour of cardio & strength training. Every other day, 30 minutes of cardio... even if it's a wussy workout... even if I think... I'm not even sweating... might as well sit down. Gotta do it. As long as it's moving. It may technically be a day off if I don't really get my heart rate up there... but the issue is getting myself to MOVE... not getting myself a day off. If I feel like being lazy... fine it'll have to wait for a 30 minute day and I'll just go swimming with kiddo and kick around in the kiddie pool constantly for 30 minutes. It's all moving. And that's what i HAVE to do. Every day. Not just 4-6 days a week. Move 7 days a week and 3-4 days of the week will 1 hour sessions. If I can do this for 2 weeks. Be consistent... I think I'll be able to do it for another 2 weeks after that and after that month... I can then tweak it as need be. But... 2 weeks to go first. I'll let you all now if it works or not. :)
3. I've been trying to figure out this whole late night hunger issue. When i use to eat an hour before bed time... it was never an issue. Now that i eat so early... and maybe since cutting out carbs... it's an issue. And it's an issue I HAVE to start solving. So starting tonight. I'm going to try making a fruit smoothie and take it in to the bedroom with me when I'm ready to go to bed. Just as an FYI... I read til I am ready to fall asleep... blissful no brain working sleep. Otherwise... i am up even later thinking thinking thinking thinking. I swear my brain is on crack without any chemical help. I feel like it NEVER stops. So... I read, and instead I'll start reading sitting up in bed instead of laying down... and I'll sip a fruit smoothie filled with yummy fruit, spinach (as I'm getting hooked on green smoothie monsters), wheat bran and Greek yogurt. I really honestly don't get enough fruit in the day anyhow. Vegi's are no problem for me. But an added boost of them is even better. I'll see how this works. If it doesn't... i may just have to have cereal instead. So we'll see.
This is longer than I meant it to be. It's time to post and go for now. As usual... have a great day peeps!
Always,
Jules
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You are on to something there about working foods you like into your weight loss plans. There is never going to be an "end" so learning to live with food is key. I'd suggest the homemade guac (good for you fats!) over the toaster strudel any day, but we like what we like. As you continue on this journey you may find other things you like.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, eat those flex points, we have to eat to lose. Sounds almost counter intuitive, and you may lose more slowly, but your metabolism will stay at a happy pace and body will adjust better as you drop the weight. Keep at it!
I'll try not to be too winded here, but I suck at that, so bear with me.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, your post inspired me today. And I really needed that. We sound a lot alike. "Be happy where I am" Yea, I need to work on that too. I have a toddler, so I get the whole workout excuse thing. The walks, with her, are wonderful. She likes them, it's exercise, win/win. It also makes me feel good that she sees me exercising. Something I never saw my mother do (who is now overweight). And I want her to learn that it's just part of life, like showering. You do it cause you should. I read something about trying to incorporate moving in everything we do. Stand while on the PC, pace while on the phone, etc. I used to wear ankle and wrist weights (I should get those back out) and that adds to the calorie burn. Feels weird when you take them off at night. But knowing that I want my daughter to view exercise as part of life, the standard, and that I want her to grow up with the advantage of having healthy living ingrained into her, that motivates me...sometimes. ;) The other thing. I'm not a night time snacker. On nights when I do get hungry (not snacky) I turn to a preportioned sized bag of Pistachio's (160cals) or high fiber crackers (All Bran) and a Laughing Cow cheese wedge. Lynnette is a huge night snacker. She eats a lot of pocorn in the eve. It's high fiber and fills you up. There are countless "diet" ones on the market. I hate fake stuff, so I air pop real pocorn (in a fun nostalgia popper, which adds to the treat) then I spritz it with that butter spray and sprinkle on seasonings. I have Ranch and Jalapeno pop corn seasonings (found next to the popcorn at the store) I also like Cajun Spice, Chili Powder, and sugar cinnamon (maybe splenda would work here?). Anyhow, you get a huge serving for like nothing. You could add too it, nuts, dried fruit...whatever. But, I would avoid anything high in sugar since it will make you wake up ravenous (blood sugar spikes in the middle of the night) and headachey. Good luck Jules. You really are doing a great job and you're right, it's the new habits you should be proud of...and the old habits will get nudged out...eventually. I use Olive Oil like it's normal...and ground Turkey instead of burger...in everything. It's just normal. Diet or not. My mom thinks its weird...but she's STILL overweight. Relax, breathe and know that you are doing it right, a little at a time.