sweet blissful painful..... whatever

It was a blustery, wind filled night. The family was gathered around the television talking about their weekend plans when suddenly there was a loud metaphoric bang that rang thru the house.

Ok, so I'm not much of a "writer" per say. :) But really, to recap yesterday; The day did have a blow to the head kind of moment. And I'll get to that in a sec. As I told you all yesterday the day after a migraine is always a rough one for me. I might as well come off of being sick. That 1st day you start to feel better and you WAY over do it kinda of crappy. Well, it went from bad to worse... I ended up with another Migraine. I know, exciting stuff. I did manage to do some work housekeeping and that was about it until i started feeling better.

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I got hubby and kiddo up in the evening as usual... he asked if we could NOT go for our walk because he was too tired. Wuss. I told him ok, but we had to do video work later. So i started dinner, I decided to make a chicken stroganoff type of dinner. I am pretty sure it would have tasted VERY yummy if I hadn't made 1 terrible horrible mistake. When my daughter was a baby I would keep cornstarch in a tupperware container for diaper rash (if you've never tried it... use it, works better than any cream). Well, dinner ended up being a tad too runny, so i wanted to thicken it up for a creamy sauce over noodles... I took out the container in my cupboard I THOUGHT was cornstarch. Even had a moment when I went "DUH" (homer simpson style) because I saw a box of cornstarch also. In my mind... i obviously thought I was out of it at some point and double purchased. giggle giggle. how could I have forgotten i keep in the tupperware. giggle giggle. Well... I added it... noticed dinner starting to foam and thought... I don't remember seeing food double in size the last time I used corn starch as a thickening agent. Huh? Oh well... and then i tasted it... OMG!!!! I used baking soda! HOLY CRAPOLY!!! I tried to salvage it... even took it all the way to the table... hoping against hope hubby wouldn't notice the weird flavor of the entire dish... yeah, no... I ate my chicken and mushrooms, none of my shirataki noodles (which i didn't like anyhow, if I'm going to eat noodles, I want noodles to taste like noodles) and as little sauce as I could eat. Hubby ate nada.

So the moral of this story... label your containers!!! Obviously at some point a box of baking soda got to be too cumbersome or something and needed to be kept in something so that it didn't spill all over the place (the ONLY reason i would have put in into tupperware) and I didn't label it... so yeah. LABEL CRAP!!

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Ok, from there we sat down and watched some TV until kiddo went to bed. During said television time it comes out (blow to the head) that hubby didn't think we were celebrating (in my mind acknowledging) my 2 holiday's this month. Mothers day sunday and my birthday on monday. Are you kidding me!! Just because we bought the Wii as our combined gifts, DOESN'T MEAN I want my days ignored. I still deserve a card, or a hug or him (egad) cooking for me. I mean geesh. Don't I deserve some sort of non-gift related acknowledgement? I guess not. This is why, (childishly) I'm glad my holiday's are before his (bd and pops day) because he gets what he giveth. I've already been planning shit... since last month for him to celebrate him. Aint a happenin' now. i know I know... How childish. but ya know, after 6 years of giveth giveth giveth... and getting ignored time after time... you kinda get sick of it. I know I know... i see the stupidity in it. He's probably giving me what he feels he gets. Vicious cycle. But the dude doesn't ever think... hmmm... maybe I should treat her special these days, something! It's just been the last 2 years that I've gone to shit... Anyhow... it's nice when you see your own stupidity and don't give a crap enough to change it. hahaha!

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Ok... So onto the rest of the night. Stayed up past midnight again. As soon as the kiddo went to bed, we did a 20 minute workout video. I gave him my list of ones "i approved" meaning I checked them out and like them. He goes searching thru OnDemand and finds some other one... and i tell him, ok... but I've not looked at this one... so i don't know. Something called Fat Burn could be really hard. Boy was I right. It was my favorite trainer from 6pack abs something or other... and this woman... has abs. Holy cow! ALL ABS!!! Anyhow... I don't know why, she makes me want to hate her with those abs, but i like following her in video's. So we did it. 20 minutes of kick your ass can barley make it to the end workout. Even hubby was struggling. More than me in a lot of ways and I more in other ways. He has no flexibility, I never noticed... Can't even squat. Anyhow... to complete our 10 minutes we turned on the Wii Fit so he could give it a whirl because he hasn't tried it yet. 1.25 hrs later... I went to bed. After he got himself tested and into the system... He started checking out exercises. I did the exercises he did with him, on the floor... Not so hard when your not on the board. Kind of amazing how much easier it is when you take the board away. :) LOL He had to go get ready for work after an hour of playing/farting around on it. Worked hard to bump me out of #1 spot a couple of times, just pure meaness there. Oh well, he got a kick out of it and a REALLY hard workout because of it. :) I then did 26 minutes of hard work of my own, on the board. I even unlocked the boxing aerobic workout... HOLY COW! I wasn't really all too interested in "boxing" i mean come on... i hate that sport. BUT I LOVE doing it! I felt strong, really strong once I got the hang of it.

This morning... i feel like my own punching bag full of bruises... really no bruises, just sore muscles. My legs, my abs... and not all over abs... down low girly pooch area abs. My lower obliques too. Tonight is strength training and if I do my normal routine... tomorrow will be very sore. But I'm loving it... sore means I'm working. :)

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I've been bad this week scale wise, I've gotten on it EVERY day. I'm not beating myself up about it. I've decided this weekend I've got to get my head wrapped around whatever is going on in it so that monday i can go back to setting mini weekly goals and work on keeping them... that little girl in the back of my head trying to make me realize something is really starting to annoy me and it's getting hard to avoid her. So I may have to really do some MAJOR self reflection this weekend.

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On the other hand the weekend I'm NOT looking forward to is seeing the mother in my life who treats me, her son and grand daughter like crap. Why are we celebrating a mother who doesn't act like a mother, why are we rewarding a mother who makes her son cry, who makes him feel like he'd be better off without her, who makes her son feel like he's not part of the family and makes him feel like she'd rather him not be her son. WHY!! And that's after realizing my own mothers day is now non existent for myself. All my dealing with a child who these days... has hit terrible 2's with full force (makes me want to go back to work 1/2 the day and put her in day care) equals nothing. I know... feeling crappy. It's not even gift related. I want/need to be celebrated or otherwise I feel like my hard work is for nothing. And lovely wonderful mom of the year gets celebrated instead. I'll be damned!!! Anyhow... I made him change plans a little because there is NO WAY in my life will i go see his mother and not see mine. So Sunday will be busy and long. He'll get off... (if my moms says ok) we'll go to breakfast with her, go see his mom by 11am... have us home in time for naps by 1pm and he'll go to sleep until it's time to get up and go to work @ 9. He said ok sounds good; tol dhim I'm sorry i feel the way i do, I know it's childish... but until she just treats him a little better, I just can't see feeling any different. Besides, if we didn't change plans... I'd be spending hours over there, and I'm not doing it.

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Ok... so as you all can see... I've got a lot of childish ranting built up in me. A lot of childish attitude pent up and it's ALL hanging loose today. I really need to get a more adult outlook on some issues, but probably goes along with avoiding... i don't wanna!!!! And you can't make me. :) hehehehehehe!! Some times, you just gotta.

I hope you all have a great day. I hope you've made it to this point and gone.... ppphhhheeeewww glad that's over. Enjoy your weekend and to all of you moms out there, have a wonderful beautiful mothers day on Sunday. Celebrate you, you deserve it! You deserve a mothers day every day because you work damn hard and need the reminder you're awesome!! If you're not a mom yet, celebrate your mother with gusto because believe me... until your a mom yourself... you really have no clue how hard she worked to get you to where you are. :) celebrate, celebrate... Just celebrate, celebrate!

Just finished reading that last part... and seems to me I need to take my own advice in regards to the MIL department... But...

Always,
Jules