I'm so proud of myself.
After 3 weeks of sloth and exhaustion I can feel the precipice of the first trimester woes ending and being behind me.
My skin is finally clearing up, I'm not AS exhausted as usual... But still tired. I'm being more conscience of my eating and my hunger and... tada.... I'm exercising DESPITE not wanting to. :)
Yesterday i again journaled everything I put in my mouth... I find it pretty easy to curb the snacking when there really isn't anything to eat in the house. LOL. I did finally go grocery shopping last night. I found it really hard to make some hard choices that are less healthy. For instance, we always buy hebrew national hotdogs, 97% fat free. Hubby and kiddo love hot dogs. And since I'm trying to keep them healthier, I opt for those. Today i'm making a big pot of Chili (as we have WAY too many beans in this house) that will be for 3 meals, chili, chili dogs and chili potato's. But we just can't afford the healthier hotdogs. I just couldn't do it. I also struggled with turkey over beef for the chili. Turkey won out, I can avoid eating the hotdogs, can't avoid the chili. Instead of the 93/7 that i prefer though I did buy the 85/15. I HATE making choices I feel are unhealthier. Like deciding NOT to buy any fruit and vegi's other than apples, potatos & carrots. I only had $30 for food (and the desperately needed cat litter). It's hard. I am going to look for ideas this week that I can cheapify. I probably could have gotten frozen vegi's, but I admit... i opted for the tomato soup I have been CRAVING like a mad woman. I know... BAD!! Anyhow....
I did not go walking, but that excuse is because of my daughter. She didn't want to go... and really, it's not worth the fight to force her to go. I did however do 30 min of Yoga. Although i love my Prego yoga video, I opted for Ondemand's exercise TV and did a relaxation Yoga segment. I've just been full of tension and it sounded perfect. I'll tell you what. WOW! There was only some of it I couldn't do due to not being able to lie flat on my back... But when i got done, my muscles felt weak. I was shocked! Before I went to bed I did my Ab routine and passed out after. :) After my Yoga I dragged out all of my belongings (minus the workout stuff and breakables I took down for the holiday's) from our spare room and went through it all made trash piles, giveaway piles and keep piles. I gave new storage homes to everything and also made a space for my craft stuff next to my desk here in my front room. Except for the few things I left in there, I did my part to make room for baby #2. Now to get Hubby to tackle his belongings. :) LOL
All in all it was a good day, until we checked the mail that is. When will the bad news finally stop coming. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but i know it's there. I know it's there, I'm just waiting to see it.
In the meantime I will wake up every day and do what i can, handle what i can and enjoy what I can. It's the only thing I can do without falling into despair.
6 months ago