Saturday, October 31, 2009



Today is an extra special day. It also happens to be the day of my brothers birth. Although he's mentioned in the past he sometimes feels jipped by the holiday, it's still an extras special day and i never can spend Halloween without him in my thoughts. for instance, 3 years ago when we took my daughter out for her 1st trick or treat (she was 1) I remember my dearly departed dad, my mom, hubby and I all standing in the street saying happy birthday to him when he called us back. So little does he know, I can not spend a trick or treat trip without him in my mind and heart! All day i think of him and his BD more than i do the spirit of the holiday.

So enjoy your day, celebrate your loved ones and embrace the spirit of fun!

And don't forget to figure out a way to limit your candy intake... But don't deprive yourself or you'll gorge!

Me... I admit I horde 1/2 my favorites in the freezer and limit myself to 1 or 2 a day until it's all gone. The other 1/2 my hubby gets to scarf down before mine are all gone or he knows I'll steal them and replenish my stock. Although, he eats my favorites faster than a kid with cake. :) hehehehe!! Kiddo gets only a few pieces a day and guarantee you, by Christmas we'll still have halloween candy that hubby will refuse to let me throw out.


Friday, October 30, 2009

What's your opinion?

So... Just got back from getting her stitches out and getting ready to eat lunch. I'm wondering though....

If I wear my ankle and wrist weights while i mop my entire house... do you think that can count as my 30 minutes of exercise for the day?

Hhhmmm.... I'm undecided. Especially since I don't use a traditional mop, I use a Hoover hard floor cleaner. hhhhmmmmm....

Tell me what you think. :)


Yet again... A weakling.

What is wrong with me. Geez!!

I did not work out yesterday. Instead I did a lot of other things in order to avoid it. ugh.

Today, i am moving REALLY slow. Woke up extra congested and a tight upper back, which is making me feel headachy. Which means I'm even slower and less motivated than you could ever guess.

I NEED to get moving this morning. I have a lot to do. Like mop these floors that have been gross since last Friday, take my daughter to get her stitches out, give her a bath to get the marker off her body that she put on her yesterday... and good lord, a plethora of other things I just have no motivation to do.

Could some one please ship me my motivation back? I bet some one out there has found it and doesn't know it's mine. I really need it and it's been missing for over a month now?

I know, such a motivating inspiring blog these days isn't it?


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Such a weakling!

Yesterday I gave in to doing nothing. I didn't exercise. Just couldn't talk myself into it. Why... I wish I had a good reason. I was dragging arse all day, I just wanted to sit on the couch and do nothing. Which except for plotting out work for the next few months, is exactly what i did. Nothing.

Breakfast- Quaker oatmeal squares
Lunch- leftover dinner, eggs W/ vegi's & potatoes
Snack- chips w/ sour cream & a root beer float
Dinner- hamburger spaghetti (2 bowls, WAY too much)
Snack- another damn root beer float.

When I look at it. It really wasn't as sucky as an eating day as I thought. The red meat issue still makes me feel sick. I really hate using it and buying it. And damn does it taste so good. Doesn't help that I know while you're pregnant you're cholesterol is naturally high... So I feel double worse about the possible consequences to my body when this kid is born. I did however add fresh mushrooms and zucchini to the scetti dinner. At least I got in some vegi's for the 1 meal. Thankfully we are out of ice cream and I think I'll purposefully let that root beer defizz so I can't want to buy more yummy vanilla ice cream for floats.

Lately, I just feel like such a failure every evening. I know I'm pregnant and all. But this isn't about just 6 more months of my life. I can't keep putting off my health and life like I used to and I feel like I'm settling back into that pattern. I feel lost and like I don't know what to do. Like I don't know how to be "healthy" and pregnant. I don't know. I certainly don't feel like I'm jeopardizing the baby in any way, well... except by not exercising. I'm trying to remind myself that i do need to give myself a break... but how far, how much is too much or not enough.

I think that's really the reason i haven't been blogging much. Because I feel like I'm not really IN this journey like I should be. And isn't that the whole point of this blog? So if I'm not IN it... what do I say. Nada? I mean really... What is it you readers want to hear about if I'm doing nothing about being healthy?

Anyhow... as usual I'm fumbling around here trying to figure it out.

With all that being said, i think I'll go make a healthy egg white (which I've also back slided on... lots of whole eggs these days) & vegi breakfast. Go to the store and come home and watch America's Next Top model on DVR while i do my workout. If that's all i get done today, than so be it. But I am going to get those 3 things done.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

It's been a long 2 weeks

So much has been going on around here. Forgive me if I'm all over the place again today. :)

I was sick for a week and a 1/2. I'm still congested and my OB said I can look forward to being congested the rest of the pregnancy. UGH! I was like this when I was pregnant with my first. I was hoping I was in the clear this time around since I hadn't had any problems yet. I'm just glad it's over and am praying that I don't get sick again. With my first, I was unnaturally healthy. Hubby needs to not bring anything else home. I don't think I can handle being sick and pregnant again. Yep. I'm a wimp and proud of it!!

Exercise this month has been Nil. from the 1st to the 26th... just 6 days total. This week I've worked out 2 days in a row now. Mon & tues both for 30 minutes total. 15-20 minutes of power walking in place (with some extras thrown in that I learned from Leslie Sansone) and 10-15minutes of exercises on the Ball. I do it while catching up on my DVR and so far so good. Even though i don't want to do it. I'm forcing myself. Today, i feel like crud. So I've yet to do it. BUT as soon as kiddo is done watching cartoons (and 1 more cup of coffee) i plan on getting to it. I can feel the bloating every morning. So I MUST get back to it. I'm afraid of the road of not doing it.

Food wise, I've been all over the board. Money has been REALLY tight these last few weeks. We're down to food and gas coming from the $100 a week my hubby makes at his 2nd job. Some how we've managed to get all the bills paid but 1; that one we can handle once I start getting paid again... just in time for the shut off notice :) LOL Thank god WIC has started supplying fruits and vegi's otherwise, we'd have non in the house. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I'll be honest. Trying to keep snacking to a minimum with no "good" food in the house is hard. I've been struggling with making healthy meal choices too. Nothing sounds good so therefore I've been relying on snacking for nutrition. Not good. Add on that while I was sick cooking was the last thing I wanted to do... It's been a food fest. But I'm trying. I can't wait to get back to how I was eating before. We've even had no choice but to go back to red meat for protein choices, and not the 93/7 kind either. I hate it, hubby loves it. But just a few more weeks and we'll hopefully be back to normal. We'll see.

Pregnancy is going great. I'm 18 weeks along this week and this time around I can already tell this kid will be a mover and shaker. hehehe!! My first was so quiet I often had fears due to lack of movement. It won't be like that this time. My blood pressure has been good so far. For that I'm grateful! I just need to keep it in check. As of today, I've only gained 1.8lbs since 8/1/09. Not too shabby. Until I looked at what i last weight when i posted on here and today's weigh in... 4.3lbs up. That was in a month and a 1/2. Not too bad, but be still my heart... it's still hard to adjust my brain into a different mode of thinking. So far the Dr has had no concerns with weight gain. So I just focus on that. Nov 3rd we have our anatomy ultrasound, we'll find out what we're having. YEAH!! I can't wait. I just hope this kiddo co-operates because I'm not good with surprises. :) Got the H1N1 shot yesterday from my OB too. Now just need to wait for the other 2 to get it and we all still need the seasonal flu. I hate shots.

We did manage to scrape some money together for my daughter's 3rd BD. That's probably why we're hurting so bad this week, but it was worth it. We've been using our credit card more than we want this month too, it's suppose to be for emergencies. But sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do. Last week we transitioned her into a toddler bed (which the credit card bought). It's kinda weird knowing she's old enough to not need the crib any more. Thankfully, she transitioned beautifully. 2 days of no napping in 1 week. not too bad. As long as she stays in her room... i really don't care where she sleeps or how much she plays. Although, napping is far better than no napping. We have this week left for "training" before I start back to work. I hope we have a week full naps so that i can go back to work without her in the afternoons (hubby is home sleeping too) and feel safe and comfortable. Her BD was this last friday. I made her cake, decorated the house (stuff we already had) and we splurged on $5 Pizza from Little Cesar's. The party was suppose to be just for immediate family, BUT no surprise, the in-laws couldn't bother to come. So instead we had my mom, sis in law and a few friends. Hubby has yet to talk to his family. He's pretty mad at them still for not coming and for letting us know that non-important things were more important for their niece and grand daughter. I'm hoping i can use it to my advantage come Xmas. Long story, but this year I just really want to stay home and be together, not do the whole 2 family thing. :) Anyhow....Kiddo gave herself a really good BD present on her BD. She managed to split her chin open and get stitches because of it. Made it a stressful day, but we'll never forget it will we. :):):)

Lets see, we finally got our fridge fixed and almost resulted in going into legalities in order to get it fixed. Because of this mess, we've decided we will be looking into moving some time next winter (cause moving in Az summers is a form of torture). As much as we don't really want to, We just feel maybe it's time. Since the landlord has met his current GF, we've had a lot of trouble getting things taken care of around here. We both hate moving, we were hoping to stay here until we either A) bought a house or B) just plain outgrew it. Which is rapidly happening with this baby coming as it is. However, we are afraid of getting a worse landlord or even a landlord who forecloses on us, so it's going to be a hard thing to do. Add in coming up with money for deposits, etc... It's going to be a long road ahead if we do. Anyhow... At least our fridge is fixed. I'm very thankful, i can not begin to tell you how much. :)

Blogging and reading blogs has been at the bottom of the list. I am finally caught up on reading my blogroll although i didn't really comment on anything. Just wanted to catch up with old friends so that I can start fresh tomorrow. So You'll be hearing from me. i promise. :):):):)

Today, it's a blustery 65 here in Az. That's SO not normal for this time of year yet. so i'm loving it. Even wearing my flannel PJ's today and kiddo is wearing some of her new warm PJ's. If only we had a fireplace, I'd be in almost heaven (would need green landscape and snow for that). Maybe that's why I feel like crud. Maybe it's not crud it's that innate desire to cuddle up and be lazy. :)

I think that's MORE than enough for now. I hope you're all great and have a wonderful day.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I did it anyways

Last week I was bad at exercising. Only 2 days out of 7. This week i planned on getting back on track (Do I say this every week)... But I'm sick. And since I can't take anything... It feels 10x worse. ugh.

I've been eating like crap. Within my means I should say. I haven't been saying no to much. But it's no surprise. I never eat great when I'm sick. I really don't have much in the house that's unhealthy except cheese, dairy and butter. :) But I have been doing a lot of carbs and whatever is easiest during the day. I even admit, I made buttermilk ranch and have been eating vegi's every other day. So really, it's probably not bad for my pregnant state... just not the best in the manner of healthier living aspect.

Yesterday though, despite being sick. I did the on demand walk away the pounds. I only did a 20 min workout (1mi + a warm up and cool down). Today though... I'm not sure if I can summon the energy. I'm going to try. But I had to go grocery shopping and to an apt I had this morning, so I feel pretty wiped.

BUT hey, I just gotta keep telling myself. Look you did it yesterday. So I'm going to have lunch, rest and keep repeating, if you did it yesterday, you can do it today. :)


Saturday, October 10, 2009

Oh my!

This week has been a plethora of Blah, I don't wanna and just plain blankness. But I have some things to share, it's going to be a jumbled mess... i warn you... I'm going to be ALL over the board. LOL :) At least I warned you. :)

I did get some work this week. $200 worth of work. YEAH!! Lets just pray it keeps coming my way, even in smaller increments until the 1st. :) I'm praying. And I've been plain exhausted this week. Turns out... i'm getting a cold. DAMN HUBBY!!! He brought it home. And I can't take anything. SON OF A B!!!!

A couple of good things happened yesterday. Hubby got his usual bill from the unemployment office (a long story and issue from back in 2003) and then the next day, he got another letter from them saying that his denied request for unemployment from back in 2007, which had been denied DUE to the 2003 issue of owing money, has been over turned or whatever the wording was and he'll be receiving almost $700 in a week. Now the money would seem like a WONDERFUL thing. BUT it's got misgivings with it. We have to be sure that it doesn't get overturned YET AGAIN and he ends up owing even more money before we spend a dime of it. The really good news to it is hopefully it's his IN for getting his 2003 issue resolved. AND hopefully by the end of the month... We'll know for sure if we can spend that $700 or not. As practical as I'd like to be... let me say, my mind has been singing hohohoo!! merry Christmas ever since we got it. Yeah! Practical huh? It'd be the first Xmas in a long time where we could actually buy presents for each other and maybe not stress over making gifts for family or searching for $5 nice gifts for people.

On top of that... i was FINALLY paying bills for the first time this month... yeah I've been putting it off. I had a little freak out. When i went to pay our electric bill I noticed what looked like a previous balance due and then remembered the shut off notice we'd gotten in the mail... that i yeah, didn't read and threw away because I said to myself... whatever, it's paid, this was sent probably at the same time. HOLY CRAP!! Did I screw up and NOT pay all our Sept bill? No way, how could I screw up on something like that. NO WAY!! The credit card maybe. I immediately hopped on the phone, sat on hold for 15 minutes and explained, while almost having a heart attack what my problem was. The nice girl looks into it and says, no Mrs... You're Sept bill was paid in full. What happened is that we credited your account $140 due to XYZ and so the 60 is what is left for you to pay this month. I started crying on the phone. Obvious tears too. I couldn't speak. YEAH ME SPEECHLESS... no one can believe it! hahaha!! I asked her if she was kidding explained I couldn't afford to be messed with, told her just some of what we've been going through and she said nope. Really, you only owe $60 for this month, due before the 19th. I actually started crying worse (still want to cry) I told her she was an angel that i needed that good news more than she could ever imagine and she just made my month!!! She just made up for all the crappy crap we've been going through for the last 4 weeks. She was so happy, elated really. She said it's so nice to hear that she some how, made a difference, even though she didn't do it. :) Anyhow... Made my day. I paid the bills. ALL of them but 4. And those will be paid next week, all before the due dates. We still have money left over, but are feeling much more relieved that even though in 2 weeks we won't know how to pay for gas and food, (unless I get more work next week and the following week) at least the bills are paid.

I did have a mini break down yesterday. Watched Michael Buble on Oprah. Started crying and thinking of my dad... all in good ways. That mans singing voice always makes me think of my dad. I miss him. Next Sat, 1 week from today... Will be 1 year. I'm still not ready for it to have been this long.

I then went grocery shopping on what i thought was a full tummy. yeah... turned out no. I was ok. I held on... until i went to check out and eyed the french bread. hhhmmm... that'll go so good with the dinner we are splurging on (shrimp linguine, not super healthy, but IT WAS YUM!). lets just say... Dear hubby got 1/4 of it... i ate the rest of the 3/4 of it all by myself. I haven't done that in AGES! I have to admit... that's why I don't buy FRESH french bread. And every time i tore another piece off... my brain would kick in and start to talk... and that fat girl who hides deep inside me... shut up my brain. I became almost non functioning until the piece was devoured and then moved on with my life like it didn't happen... until the next piece. ARGH! I've worked so hard to quit this kind of eating. Thought I'd moved past it... especially when I've made things like cookies, brownies and other favorites and NOT done this, when those used to be my foods too. I've been able to NOT do this... and I caved. I know it has to do with emotions. Especially when while watching my DVR of greys anatomy when I started crying and asking myself why is it Izzy got to live and my dad didn't. OK I know... i do. Kathryn is only PLAYING a character, she isn't really Izzy. But still... that's when i knew... Ok... I'm hiding again. So by them, bread was gone and while watching... i just let myself feel. I need to remember to let myself feel, or I eat the whole damn thing.

Anyhow... I'm done... I have more to say... But I think this post is LONG ENOUGH!! :) I'll share it later today or tomorrow.

Anything good & out of the blue happen to any of you this week?
Have a wonderful weekend!


Saturday, October 3, 2009

Benefits of being poor

You don't usually think of the benefits of being poor until something happens.

Like today, when our fridge decided to quit working (we rent, so now we're waiting on the landlord).

Came to our attention that if we weren't in our current lack of money situation... Our fridge would be FULL, we would have frozen meats, and a plethora of food to be freaking out about.

Currently though... We only have to worry about the Dairy (which we're on WIC, so we have a lot), condiments and the few odds and ends. No meat to speak of either. We also cleaned out the freezer of things that we didn't need, like the frozen banana's hubby's been begging me to throw out. And we realized HEY! We could be eating the frozen (defrosted now) fruit in the bottom of the freezer, that i forgot about.

So, for today, Being poor was a good thing. Although we really didn't need this bad news especially since last night we informed our landlord we are $100 short. I also thank god for friends, who went WAY above and beyond to help us get ice chests to help keep the food cold :)

Does stress raising your blood pressure count as exercise? hhhhmmmm


Gutless Will Power

Ok, So the last 2 days I have NOT worked out. We're allowed a break right? But 2 days IN A ROW!! Come on Jules!!

I did get a project tackled yesterday. My recipe Box is now almost 1/2 empty. Yeah. It was time. I had a lot of doubles and even some that I've never tried and was honest with myself... the ingredients were just too "abnormal" for me to be ok making it for 1 time and than have something in my house I'd probably never use again. That means 4 projects off my before the baby comes to do list. Today i plan on going through 1 cookbook my cousins school put together and weeding through it and only keeping what I want to my box. After that, I'll only have cookbooks and my box. :) YEAH!! I love organization! hahahaha!!

So although it happened and I gave into the whole I don't wanna/don't feel like it attitude. At least I spent 1 of those days being productive, even if it was on the couch going through countless recipes (it took me ALL day, that's how many I had).

Today though I AM going for a walk as soon as my daughter gets up. After that I'll do some Wii Fit and EA active for some Fun exercise. The scale has showed a loss the last 2 days. YEAH!! I'm only 1lb away from being where I was when I went on vacation. Not that I'm trying or anything. If I posted my food journal for you guys... OMG!! You'd be appalled!!! But obviously my moving this week is helping me get rid of water weight. :) I'll take it. :)

Tonight I have a party I'm going to. A Diva party (lingerie party). I'm excited to just go hang with my friends and watch everyone have a good time, me included. I wish i could buy something... I could use some new bras that fit and aren't as expensive as lane Bryant or Fredrick's... But Oh well. I'll dream.

Tomorrow my plan is just to exercise and stay home and finish my weekend To Do list.

What are your plans for the weekend?


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Day 3 and trying not to give into to doing nothing.

Ugghh. Yesterday was one of those days where you work you're hardest to just stay on top and keep plugging along. Today isn't much better.

I did go walking for 30 minutes, but didn't do much else. I did get some "computer" work done that I've been putting it off. But I ended up being super tired yesterday. I did journal and by god did I eat alot!

Today... So far, I've been sitting here feeling like a mag truck has rested it's rig on my A$$ and isn't moving. UGH!!

Oh well, today just may end up being my day off this week. But at the same time I feel like If i don't just MOVE today... i may end up taking the next day off too. Does that make sense. Almost like if I take today off I'll be taking a step back. Especially since I didn't work out this weekend.

Oh the joy. hahahahaa!!

I did get some good news. I have 6 hours of vacation pay I'm aloud to cash in (didn't know I even GET vacation time until yesterday). So even though it's only 6hrs... It's something to get in a paycheck. It's hard to believe I'm so happy about a whopping $50, but hey! Right now... that $50 could be what keeps our utilities from being cut off or food in the house next week. :) YEAH!!! Also, my boss emailed me and she has a job for me that is roughly almost an hour and a 1/2 and 60 miles away from my house. That's about $100 the following week. So if this keeps up.... if I can fill in some blanks here and there with other money, we can survive on $30 for food a week and we will hold on tight to what sanity is left. To feel the stress slowly release it's grips is a good feeling. :) Now if only we could win the lottery or have LOTS of money drop from the sky... i'd even be willing to share. :)