Monday, February 22, 2010

roller coaster called life...

Has it really been almost a month since I last posted?


I've been a busy girl. Life has been busy and in some cases not so nice. I won't complain because truthfully, there are those out there going through so much worse than me and despite the low points... life has been nice, even in those hard moments.

Lets see, I've been busy trying to keep my family above water, trying desperately to keep that lovely swelling at bay (yeah not working), trying to keep from over doing it (yeah not working) and trying to get ready for this baby boy while wishing he'd come today!

At the same time, I must admit... I've kinda sorta given up. I don't exercise at all these days. Well, I keep moving and busy, and it is good enough. I haven't been keeping track of what I'm eating and I've found myself reverting back to mindless eating. I eat when I'm hungry, but I'm not reining myself in and I'm not always making good choices. Doesn't help that i cringe at the thought of cooking and preparing meals. I've been eating a lot of cereal in between dinner meals; meaning breakfast & lunch. I've found myself choosing meals that consist of crackers and by the time I'm done... I'm so stuffed I'm sick. WTH! Why am I back to mindless eating. Well, I KNOW it's because I'm not keeping track and not being mindful. I KNOW it's laziness in planning and I KNOW it's just not giving a damn.

sadly, I just keep telling myself... I'll get back on the wagon when this little guy is born and I no longer have an excuse at being lazy in my healthiness, like the excuse of I'm pregnant and tired and will just eat what i want. Cravings have been PURE hell this last month or so. All in all I've been gaining and losing the same 5 lbs over the last month. Gotta LOVE that swelling and bloating. And I know it's due to crappy eating, not enough exercise and water. Nothing like KNOWING what the problem is and doing nothing about it right? How silly can I be? My weight gain has been, ok... I don't remember my starting point. But i know it's not even been 25lbs because my Dr has been very happy with my health and rate of gain.

I am looking forward to his arrival and can't believe it's just a month away! March 30th is looming quickly. In between that time, i have my brothers wedding this weekend, 2 baby showers (1 mine, 1 my cousins) and a life to prepare for... in more ways than 1. I'm gonna be a busy girl!

I hope your all doing wonderful and although I've been away from blog land... I do miss having time to sit and read your blogs. Time at this screen has just not been there and when it is... it's busy busy busy. Oh where did my lazy hours go? :-( Some how I'll find them again. Some how.


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Seems like...

All I can say lately is well, sorry I've been gone.

This time I haven't been hiding though. :) LOL

I've actually been super busy. The last post was Jan 25th and since then I've pretty much been go go go. I hardly have time for sitting in front of my computer and reading, let alone writing. matter of fact, even as I type this my husband and daughter and telling me we need to get busy. ugh! Anyhow, I've been busy enough for a lifetime and this month isn't going to be any better. My brother gets married at the end of the month and lets face it I have ALOT to do to get ready for that, add in Dr's apts, misc other apts I have to keep, and things to do to get ready for little man... I kinda wish this month would just let me wake up to march 1st. :) Things have been crazy enough that i had a wake up call the other night... I had a scare of labor contractions starting. Talk about a wake up call to slow down. Sadly, I can't slow down too much as lets face it nothing much (but laundry) gets done around here if I slow down for too many days in a row. Don't worry, I'm taking care of myself. Just trying to do less in 1 day and working on being better at listening to my body.

I'm eating pretty good. Dinners are excellent these days (except 1 night last week w/FF and last night with FF). Making my menu based on taste AND calorie/serving size info was an excellent idea. These days because I seem to look at my menu going "ugh nothing sounds good" I made a 12 meal menu and a list of must buys before making each item (you know those darn vegi's don't last 2 weeks). Luckily there isn't much I have to buy for most meals and it all sounds so good I've got the problem of which one to make. :) Every meal is under 500 calories for 1 serving and I was sure to pick things that the serving size would equal a good portion, not 1c of it for 500 calories. Makes me excited to cook. the 2 FF days were because of scheduling and not being home to even think of cooking. Lunches and breakfasts I'm working hard at being a head of my hunger and I'm giving myself a break if I eat a little crappily in between meals. Which really, with no snack foods in the house, just means eating leftovers from the night before and toast. I bought tortilla's and have been making wraps again. Last nights FF was churches chicken. Today, i plan on tearing the fatty yummy fried crap off and peeling the chicken off the bone to make a chicken Cesar wraps. I'm excited. :) May not be the BEST chicken in the world to use, but I'm thinking re purpose and remove what fat I can... better than I used to do :) LOL

Exercise has been a little to the way side because of my schedule. I know I need to fit it in... But ya know, these days, with less than 2 months to go before little man arrives, I'm doing everything I can to just get things in order. How has 7 months flown by. Feels unreal. Since I'm not sitting on my arse all day, I'm pregnant, not gaining any weight these days AND keeping swelling to a minimum... It's just gotta be ok. :) You gotta do what you gotta do and in my state and after the scare I had earlier this week... I'm all about being more careful these days. Do i sound like I've got a lot of excuses or what? All I can say is... with 2 months to go. excuses be damned!!!

However, I have made a promise to a friend of mine though, Starting 6 weeks after little man arrives, no matter my shape.... I'll be hitting what she calls upchuck hill (everyone throws up when they run it she says) with her at least 1x a week. Although I told her I'll have to watch her run it while I walk it cause I won't be in shape enough to run it when I start. But at least I can do it 1x a week (hopefully more, we'll see when the time comes) with her while our girls play and since she used to be a track and field cohort with me from HS and NOW owns her own martial arts gym... she'll kick my arse into running that hill in no time. hahahaha!!

Anyways, today's a busy day... after taking most this week off due to those contractions, I've got to clean house, clean the garage and watch my husband steam clean the carpets. I have a feeling he's going to beg outa that chore, but either way... I'll be getting some good walking in today while he does all the heavy lifting. And that for once (at least for once) is good enough for me. :)