The start of it all

For years I've looked for ways of dealing with my weight, my life, and the little things. Especially the things I just need to get off my chest so they don't eat me alive until I become an unruly B*tch. And then starting Aug 08, it all started coming to a climax and not relenting until early Feb 09. In Aug 08 my dad was diagnosed with cancer and long story short, by Oct he was gone. His illness really brought to the forefront his lifestyle and eating habits. His obesity and lack of going to the Dr; it really made me take a look at my own life/lifestyle. For me, it's been ignoring my list of possible health issues since late 2007; you name, obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, fatigue, etc...and the scariest of all (for me) a thyroid problem that never finished being diagnosed.
In all honestly, mostly the issues have been ignored, because I had no health insurance and no money. But the REAL truth is the reality of it all. The reality that I had to face in Feb was that my thyroid CAN NOT be used to explain any of these problems. Finally i had to face the cold hard truth that i have let myself get so overweight that it is literally affecting EVERY part of my health. I'm 4'11.5" and I weigh as of yesterday 199.5lbs. That is just WAY too much. After the Dr and I having a little heart to heart truth session (my thyroid problem has corrected itself in the last year) i have been working hard to start implementing whatever needs to be done to get my lifestyle changed. I have a 2 year old and do not want to miss her life the way my dad is now missing his families lives. I also want to get pregnant, but i can't do that without killing myself due to my hypertension. So... I have to lose something. Really, all i want is to be healthier. I used to be fairly healthy and then... 6 years ago, i slowly let it all go.

Here's what I've been doing this last month:
1. Weight watchers via free outlets
2. reading Dr Phil's weight loss book. I know my weakness and it's my own emotions, mind and behaviors. How can I truly change my life if I don't deal with the "WHY" of my weight.
3. Exercising... my dreaded hated task. I'm going to walk 5 days a week at least 1 mile. To be re-evaulated monthly as I get stronger and better.

Anyhow... for the most part. Those are the things I'm doing to change my lifestyle. I have to get with my Dr in 6 months and see if I've changed things enough to not be put on more med's which means i won't be able to get pregnant anytime soon. So I'm determined, just have to stay that way. I'm hoping this blog will help me stay on track and will also help me stay truthful with myself. Here are the goals I've set up for myself. I'm trying to stay realistic, even though I'm screaming I WANT TO LOSE IT TOMORROW!!!!!

1. from march 1, 09-Dec 31,09- lose 75lbs.
2. A)Walk 1 mile 5 times a week; B) CC video 7 days a week 10 minutes/day. C) strengthening bands 7 days a week. Exercise Goals will be re-evaulated bi-weekly and monthly
3. My husband and I will start hiking every other week together as a family, sometimes with our daughter, sometimes without.
4. In 3 months, my husband and I will go to South Mountain and redo the hike we did on the 28th to see if we can make it to the top and back down again. We didn't make it all the way up this last time (5 mile hike up), we only went 3 miles up and hiked back the full 3 miles.

So here's good luck to me.

Always,
Jules