Pull me up by my boot straps

So... yesterday i really didn't eat much. I made 2 really big meals that left me pretty stuffed and only room for brownies. hehehehe!! I made lasagna last night. Kinda made it up as I went along, based on recipes I've made before. It was a turkey, vegi lasagna... very yummy. Not as cheesy as I usually like, but it was JUST barely under 500 calories (11 WW points though... OW!!), so it's good where it was. And if I'd made it serve 8 instead of 6... it would have been less calories & points, but come on... I wanted me SOME lasagna... no girly portions allowed!!! hahahahaha!! Tasted so good that all through breakfast this morning all I could think of was having lasagna for lunch... 2 hours later... I did. hahahahaa!! If I eat nothing else all day... i could have it for dinner and still be good points and calorie wise... BUT I probably shouldn't, unless I'm just not hungry again until dinner.... hhhhmmmm... we'll see. :) hehehehe!!

I've been trying all day to pull myself up by the boot straps and kick my ass (sorry for the language) out of this funk. I decided to take it as an easy day. Sit enjoy, relax before we have to go spend time with the paternal in laws. And then i decided to pay bills... and then saw the money hubby spent on stuff we're not ALLOWED to buy if we want to pull ourselves out of this second job trap AND pay bills AND go on vacation in 2 weeks AND buy food and gas, etc... etc...

And... well... now I'm pissed again and REALLY happy that his cousin is sick with icky sickness that i would NEVER allow my daughter to be around because there's just no way. And that means he gets to go visit all by himself (I saw them earlier this week) before they leave town and I... get to stay home and on his 1 day off... not be around him. Because lets face it... this week... he has really got me seriously wondering about what the hell I'm doing here. Makes me sad and cry to realize how excited I am to NOT spend time with him on his 1 day off this week. Which makes me so much more angry at him and so much more sad and in a funk. DAMN HIM!!!!

Anyhow... other than that. I'm glad I'm not turning to food. Sadly, I feel sick a lot this week because of the situation from earlier this week that has put me here. Normally when i feel sick, I eat... but I'm just too sad to bother. At least I'm eating, don't get me wrong. Baby is getting PLENTY of food. hehehehe!! I made brownies the other day... and miraculously... they are not all gone. HOW? i don't know.

BTW... next time try making brownies in cupcake cups and only add 1tbs of mix to each one.... they end up the perfect size AND it lowers the calories/points. :) easy peasy portion control too. :):):):)

Anyhow... I'm done ranting and feeling sorry for myself.

Before I go... Did I mention I went walking this morning? I went this AM because originally i wasn't going to be home this evening... and I wanted to get it in. I didn't go as long as I normally would, because kiddo has been getting up earlier and earlier and didn't want her waking the hubby up since he worked all night at his 2nd job. But still... i went and did a mile. YEAH! :) Since I'll be home tonight, kiddo and I will be doing our usual routine. :) DOUBLE YEAH!!

Always,
Jules