Saturday, October 10, 2009

Oh my!

This week has been a plethora of Blah, I don't wanna and just plain blankness. But I have some things to share, it's going to be a jumbled mess... i warn you... I'm going to be ALL over the board. LOL :) At least I warned you. :)

I did get some work this week. $200 worth of work. YEAH!! Lets just pray it keeps coming my way, even in smaller increments until the 1st. :) I'm praying. And I've been plain exhausted this week. Turns out... i'm getting a cold. DAMN HUBBY!!! He brought it home. And I can't take anything. SON OF A B!!!!

A couple of good things happened yesterday. Hubby got his usual bill from the unemployment office (a long story and issue from back in 2003) and then the next day, he got another letter from them saying that his denied request for unemployment from back in 2007, which had been denied DUE to the 2003 issue of owing money, has been over turned or whatever the wording was and he'll be receiving almost $700 in a week. Now the money would seem like a WONDERFUL thing. BUT it's got misgivings with it. We have to be sure that it doesn't get overturned YET AGAIN and he ends up owing even more money before we spend a dime of it. The really good news to it is hopefully it's his IN for getting his 2003 issue resolved. AND hopefully by the end of the month... We'll know for sure if we can spend that $700 or not. As practical as I'd like to be... let me say, my mind has been singing hohohoo!! merry Christmas ever since we got it. Yeah! Practical huh? It'd be the first Xmas in a long time where we could actually buy presents for each other and maybe not stress over making gifts for family or searching for $5 nice gifts for people.

On top of that... i was FINALLY paying bills for the first time this month... yeah I've been putting it off. I had a little freak out. When i went to pay our electric bill I noticed what looked like a previous balance due and then remembered the shut off notice we'd gotten in the mail... that i yeah, didn't read and threw away because I said to myself... whatever, it's paid, this was sent probably at the same time. HOLY CRAP!! Did I screw up and NOT pay all our Sept bill? No way, how could I screw up on something like that. NO WAY!! The credit card maybe. I immediately hopped on the phone, sat on hold for 15 minutes and explained, while almost having a heart attack what my problem was. The nice girl looks into it and says, no Mrs... You're Sept bill was paid in full. What happened is that we credited your account $140 due to XYZ and so the 60 is what is left for you to pay this month. I started crying on the phone. Obvious tears too. I couldn't speak. YEAH ME SPEECHLESS... no one can believe it! hahaha!! I asked her if she was kidding explained I couldn't afford to be messed with, told her just some of what we've been going through and she said nope. Really, you only owe $60 for this month, due before the 19th. I actually started crying worse (still want to cry) I told her she was an angel that i needed that good news more than she could ever imagine and she just made my month!!! She just made up for all the crappy crap we've been going through for the last 4 weeks. She was so happy, elated really. She said it's so nice to hear that she some how, made a difference, even though she didn't do it. :) Anyhow... Made my day. I paid the bills. ALL of them but 4. And those will be paid next week, all before the due dates. We still have money left over, but are feeling much more relieved that even though in 2 weeks we won't know how to pay for gas and food, (unless I get more work next week and the following week) at least the bills are paid.

I did have a mini break down yesterday. Watched Michael Buble on Oprah. Started crying and thinking of my dad... all in good ways. That mans singing voice always makes me think of my dad. I miss him. Next Sat, 1 week from today... Will be 1 year. I'm still not ready for it to have been this long.

I then went grocery shopping on what i thought was a full tummy. yeah... turned out no. I was ok. I held on... until i went to check out and eyed the french bread. hhhmmm... that'll go so good with the dinner we are splurging on (shrimp linguine, not super healthy, but IT WAS YUM!). lets just say... Dear hubby got 1/4 of it... i ate the rest of the 3/4 of it all by myself. I haven't done that in AGES! I have to admit... that's why I don't buy FRESH french bread. And every time i tore another piece off... my brain would kick in and start to talk... and that fat girl who hides deep inside me... shut up my brain. I became almost non functioning until the piece was devoured and then moved on with my life like it didn't happen... until the next piece. ARGH! I've worked so hard to quit this kind of eating. Thought I'd moved past it... especially when I've made things like cookies, brownies and other favorites and NOT done this, when those used to be my foods too. I've been able to NOT do this... and I caved. I know it has to do with emotions. Especially when while watching my DVR of greys anatomy when I started crying and asking myself why is it Izzy got to live and my dad didn't. OK I know... i do. Kathryn is only PLAYING a character, she isn't really Izzy. But still... that's when i knew... Ok... I'm hiding again. So by them, bread was gone and while watching... i just let myself feel. I need to remember to let myself feel, or I eat the whole damn thing.

Anyhow... I'm done... I have more to say... But I think this post is LONG ENOUGH!! :) I'll share it later today or tomorrow.

Anything good & out of the blue happen to any of you this week?
Have a wonderful weekend!

Always,
Jules

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