Sometimes, you just have to quit fighting

Some thing I realized yesterday...

Why am i fighting myself?

Deprivation has never been my forte. I can't do it and trying to do it causes me to BINGE!!!

So why am I so gung ho oh trying to go 4 days no sugar? Cause, the only way I've been able to accomplish this is by keeping so busy that i don't think about food AT ALL!!! But it doesn't stop me from wanting it the minute I slow down. And I mean, can't get it out of my mind until i have it kind of thinking!

I had 1 good day, but I was jam packed and busy, so I had to force myself to stop to eat as it was. And then yesterday as I stuffed my 5th peice of candy in my mouth, it hit me!! Telling myself all day i wasn't allowed, AT ALL!! Was bad! Was my down fall. Hence why I've been failing/caving. i don't do well with deprivation... i do better with parameters. Rules. I do better with giving myself the option, doesn't mean I have to take the option, but having it there takes the pressure off!!

So! There ya go. I'm done trying to deprive myself. I'm not going to try. I am however going back to my rule of only 1 small piece after lunch and dinner. This equals either 1 dark Hershey kiss or 1 square of dark chocolate off of a bar. Sometimes, only 1/2 of those per meal.... that's how I used to do it, before getting preggers. Most the time I wouldn't even eat the whole amount of what I had deemed the RULE. And I always enjoyed that little bit, savored it when i wanted it and didn't miss it when I didn't want it. I still have to figure out what to do with those jelly belly's I haven't opened (some thing I horde and savor also) yet. I think i need to figure out the dark chocolate equivalent of them so that i can add them to the rule when my dark choco is all gone. We'll see. maybe I'll just give them to the kiddo. Luckily, I don't pig out on those. Never have, so I'm not worried. But i should decide on a rule, just in case!!

So I won't rehash the weekend. I will however tell you about my monday. :):):)

It started out feeling like 1 of them days... But i pulled it around, i don't know how... But I did. I found a new home for my exercise ball, and guess what i'm using as chair right now. Yup! Why not? Keeps me engaged right? I don't know, thought it was a good option though for when i'm not exercising with it. We'll see how bad the kiddo is with it... usually causes some issues, but it's time for her to learn. There isn't exactly a spare room to hide it in any more. Anyhow, my calories for the day came in at 1580. I wasn't even hungry all day with what i ate. YEAH ME!! No starvin' marvin!! I did have those 5 pieces of candy that along with 2 pieces of toast as a snack, equaled more than any of my meals. Lunch was salad, YUM! home made Cesar salad kick hasn't ended. Dinner was home made stir fry that was so good, hubby took the leftovers to work and darn it!!! I was planning that to be lunch today. Oh well, at least for once, he ate leftovers without being forced. :)

My activity for yesterday wasn't too shabby either. Mydiet says I came in at 2549 calories burned for the day. Not too shabby for a slow day. I hadn't exercised all day and then right before bed (20 minutes before to be exact) I popped in my new ball pilates DVD and did a 10 minute flexibility segment. I'm in LOVE LOVE LOVE!! So i'm thinking I'm going to do everything I can to do that segment every night before bed. I can certainly use some flexibility. Being pregnant it was certainly a good workout for me, but not too straining or hard that i need to worry about over doing it in my current state, which being so inactive these last 7 months has been a concern for me. But it's enough of a challenge that i still should see some changes over the next few months in my flexibility. :) Also, I'll still work towards doing my Wii Pilates in the mornings 5 days a week. Speaking of which, I need to get off of here and go do that workout! NOW!!

Always,
Jules